Suicidal
by CRMLDNSN
Summary: No one knew it, not even Reborn, but the trio was close to one another because of suicide. 592780 friendship; not yaoi, implied shounen ai


**EDITED: April 25, 2013**

**Summary: **No one knew it, not even Reborn, but the trio was close to one another because of suicide.

**A/N: A small oneshot I wanted to try. Is it wrong for me to think that Tsuna, Yamamoto, and Gokudera were all suicidal before meeting each other? I think everyone does it.**

**:X:X:**

_**~Sawada Tsunayoshi~**_

Tsuna was home again. He could smell his mother's cooking as he entered the living room. He smiled as he walked up to his room, trying to ignore the pain in his limbs.

His mother was always the reason he was alive up until now.

From all the years in school, he has always been bullied, laughed at, taunted, mocked, and to go as far as beaten up by his fellow classmates. Today, he was arriving with a few broken bones and several bruises that were already violet. He arrive late today because his bullies wanted 'more bonding time' with him.

Every step he took hurt. He just wants this all to end. When he was first bullied, he didn't mind it. It was just some random teasing as all. But, after a while, rather than just verbal bullying, Tsuna got beaten up by his classmates and people in a higher grade. Ever since he was seven and a half, there was never a day that he'll never manage to get a beating. He managed to hide his limping, scars, and bruises from his mother after all those years.

There was that one time when she found a light blue bruise on his cheek. She wouldn't stop asking him questions that night. But he only said that he got it from falling down the stairs. Nana was very sceptical that night but accepted it anyway.

One night, in his room when he was eleven years old, he managed to snatch a knife from the kitchen drawer and was planning to kill himself with it.

"Tsu-kun! I didn't hear you come in. Hurry! Dinner's ready!"

Ah, that voice. Tsuna held the knife close to his chest and hesitated in putting it down. He finally put it down as he called out to his mother. He always did see how Nana would be so happy to see him, no matter how much of a mess he was, how bad his grades were, how clumsy and irresponsible he was, she loved him like how a mother should. She didn't even look at how much of a failure her son was.

"Coming, mom!" He took one last glance at the kitchen knife. He bit his lip and shook his head. He'll return it later when his mother's already sleeping.

"Anything interesting happen upstairs?" his mother asked that night.

Tsuna was silent before digging into the food set in front of him. He thought about how he planned on killing himself with a plain kitchen knife. How he was about to end his miserable life and just be gone. Then, he thought about his mother, how she'll be all alone if he was gone.

"Nothing really."

_**~Yamamoto Takeshi~**_

"Hey, Yamamoto, how 'bout you and I go to your place for sushi?" a classmate of Yamamoto asked. Three of them crowded around Yamamoto as they asked him if they could.

"Yeah, Yamamoto's dad makes the best sushi in Namimori!" another one said. Yamamoto grinned at them. It was always like this.

Yamamoto was always happy when everyone cheered at him when he played baseball. They would admire him so much. They would shout encouraging words to him. There was only one thing wrong...

Yamamoto knew that all of those was fake.

They were all using him. They used him to make their lives much better. They used him for fame, glory, freeloading, and not once has Yamamoto seen actual sincerity and respect in their voices.

When he broke his arm, it was on purpose. He planned on committing suicide so he'll see if someone was sincere enough to actually stop him. If he broke his arm, he had a reason for committing suicide in front of the school, and then he would see if someone, even just one, would stop him.

That one person was the school failure, Dame-Tsuna.

He never really expected that he'll be the one to stop him. He thought that he'll just be one of the crowd, shouting for him to stop, not giving a reason for him to.

He thought about his father, who was all alone in the sushi shop with only his customers for acquaintances. Yamamoto was his only son, and he knew how his father would react to losing his son. Much like losing his one and only wife.

And Tsuna. Most especially Tsuna. The one who made him rethink his whole life thanks to just one speech. And Yamamoto realizes, he needs to live for his one friend and family.

No matter how many people would criticize him for being friends with the failure of the school, he would uncharacteristically glare at them, making them scurry out of his sight in fear. At least Tsuna never criticized him for being himself.

As time goes by, he saw Tsuna more of a brother he's never had before. Even if the brunette was slightly shorter than he was, Yamamoto acknowledged him as a big brother in which you can rely on. There were no objections from I-pin, Lambo, and Fuuta.

When he fell to the ground accidentally, he was glad Tsuna was there to save him.

_**~Gokudera Hayato~**_

Because he was an illegitimate child, he was looked down upon by the members of the house. His father and sister told him to pay no heed and just move on. Even if he was an illegitimate child, he had talent and a family to guide him through the hardships of his life.

But, his father was stuck in his business, not having free time to spend with either Gokudera or Bianchi. Bianchi, of course, had cooking and usually spent her free time with the chef of the mansion. But Gokudera, he had no one to spend time with.

He thought about the doctor who trained him with bombs, but realized that he's probably busy, too. He didn't like the servants, they were too nosy and criticized him whenever they had the chance.

So, Gokudera spent most of his time in his room, reading, studying, drawing if he felt like it. He felt a sense of longing inside of him. He always wanted a friend in which he could spend most of his time with.

The Mafia was a cruel world for a six-year-old. Most especially for an illegitimate one. News spread about and almost everyone's heard of the rumour regarding Gokudera. When Gokudera tried to run away in order to find a Family that'll accept him for who he is, he was greeted with glares and sneers of the Mafia.

He planned on committing suicide when he knew that no one would accept him. He was on top of an abandoned building, all ready to fall down meeting Death.

But he stopped. He doesn't know why though. But, he felt something inside him, something that told him that there will be someone who would acknowledge him and think of him as something of worth and won't sneer at him just because of his past.

But other than that, he accidentally fell. He managed to survive with only a few broken bones with his sister and father worrying about him, asking him why he thought of something overly stupid for someone who was a natural-born genius.

Gokudera waved them off as nothing, telling them that he wanted to explore an abandoned house he found in the middle of nowhere. The two still demanded answers, but they never did get it. Gokudera's mind then pondered on the though of having someone other than his father and sister thinking of him as something...useful.

When he got to know Tsuna and the Vongola famiglia, he knew he was right in not killing himself.

**:X:X:**

**A/N: A try for friendship genre. I always though of how much the three's lives were wrecks. Yes, even Yamamoto, having fake friends makes you feel less welcomed and depressed.**


End file.
